Dialectical Perspective ΒΆ
The perspective assumes that relationships are the constant fluctuation of managing opposing tensions or contradictions. It denies relationships are not result of mathematical calculation. Four important assumptions are:
- Praxis
- Change
- Contradictions
- Totality
Praxis suggests that relationships trajectories are not linear (always moving foward) nor repetitive (cycling through the same things again and again). Dialectical perspective assumes that relationships can be more intimate sometimes; less inimate the other time. Partners in relationship move forward and backwards in times.
ChangeDialectical perspective assumes that relationship keeps changing. Relationships are not maintained, rather they are sustained in the changing status.
ContradictionsCommunication partners in every relationship has opposing needs (contradictions). Because these needs conteract each other people cannot achieve both needs at the same time. Therefore, there are always tensions in any kinds of realtionships.
Totalitye.g., Spouse need to spend time together to sustain their marriage; on the other hand, both partners need to have some time to themselves, away from their partners. Both togetherness and independence are needed for marriage to be sustained. But, both cannot achieved at the same time.
Totality refers to the inter-dependent nature of relationships.
Internal tensions :: Relationships are formed and sustained by the above four ideas. Tensions are always occur between partners. The three central tensions that individuals experience are:- autonomy-connection dialectic
- openness-closedness dialectic
- predictability-novelty dialectic
- Autonomy-connection
- dialectic refers to the tension between the desire to be independence and that to be connected.
- Openness-closedness
- dialectic refers to the tension bewteen wanting to open-up or self-disclosure and wanting to remain private.
- Predictability-novelty
- dialectic refers to the tension between wanting stability or steadiness while also wanting opportunities for spontaneity.
- inclusion-seclusion
- revelation-concealment
- conventionality-uniqueness
- Inclusion-seclusion
- dialectic refers to the tension partners experience when they want to spend time with friends, family, or coworkers versus wanting to spend their time alone together.
- Revealation-concealment
- dialectic refers to tension between desire to reveal the aspects of their relationship to the world and that to hide to themselves.
- Conventionality-uniqueness
- refers to tension between wanting to be like others and wanting to be unique.
- Selection
- Cyclic alteration
- Segmentation
- Integration
- Selection
- Choosing one pole (side) over the other, which may end the relationship.
- Cyclic alteration
- Choosing one pole at this time; and will do the other at the other time. Creating back-and-forth and back-and-forth strategy to cope with the relationship.
- Segmentation
- Setting aside something (particular) that conflicts each other. Choosing some topics for openness; the other for closedness.
- Integration
- Choosing several variations to create a more fulfilling experience. A couple may choose to use predictability and novelty to escalate their relationship by setting an agreement that Friday is date night (predictability) and that they try out a different restaurant every week (novelty).
